I of course am talking about ME, mommy having separation
anxiety being away from Emma. The thing is Emma LOVES being at daycare but
mommy does not like being away. I had a hard time letting go when I put Emma in
daycare, especially in the beginning. I did not mentally prepare myself well
enough for the transition from maternity leave to daycare. Going from everyday
being with your baby almost 24/7 to suddenly having this huge 8 hour gap in
time together was extremely traumatic for me to say the least. Not to mention
that Emma was still pretty much helpless at that point and was not getting
attention every second like I had given her, which really upset me. I think she
started daycare to early, but that’s a whole other post.
Right now, I have the amazing perk of her daycare being
located right inside my office building. I know it is a rare and magnificent miracle
and for the past 4 ½ months I have been able to go down and see her everyday
which has helped both of us tremendously. In fact, in the beginning, I would go
twice a day. I finally scaled it back to once a day a few months back. I am by
no means trying to wave my good fortune in the face of others that don’t have
daycare in their building but it is amazing to be able to leave the spread
sheet you have been staring at for hours or run out of a two hour meeting to go
sit and play with your child for a few minutes. I love every minute of it.
After going to visit Emma at day care every day I started
getting to know the ins and outs of the place pretty well. I got to know the
women who were taking care of Emma. I got to get to know the other kids.
Everyone started to know who I was. It has been my second home. I never thought
it would be so hard for me to let go, to not be with my child every second of
every day (trust me I don’t really want to be with her EVERY second) but still
having daycare so close is a nice arrangement for someone who is new to being a
parent and a working parent on top of that.
I am finally getting to the point of my long winded mushy
mush post. I think the day has finally come where I can’t go see Emma at daycare
every day any more. She has entered her attachment phase. She cries when she is
aware I leave the room. Drop offs are easy because she is still sleepy and
disoriented, but when mommy shows up in the middle of the day to play then
leaves? WHOLE different story. Not to mention she is moving around on her own
now and is comfortable with the other kids. Hello independence! So, the need
for me to see her everyday has lessened but that does not mean I want it to
end! Where is the happy laughter I got to hear after a droning conference call?
What excuse will I have to give my eyes a rest from the 1 point font hundred
page spread sheets? The truth is, sometimes I wish I was working at the daycare
and not doing other work. (A post on my job to follow). I suppose for now I
will sacrifice my wants for my child’s well-being. I will stay away from daycare
until Emma is over the clingy phase. I guess only one question remains … do
they allow daily visits in elementary school?
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