The Patterson’s Night After Christmas

T’was the night after Christmas and all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, except for an annoyed spouse

The stockings fell off the bar they were taped with little care

Because St. Nicholas had already been there

The baby was screaming unsnug in her bed

While painful teeth were coming through her little head

Mama drinking cough syrup and dad in his Redskins cap

Were hoping to pass out for an after Christmas nap

When out in the dining room there rose such a clatter

We rock paper scissored each other to go see what was the matter

Away to the dining room I shuffled not being rash

Tripped on a dog and heard a splash

I looked down as the dog vomit did grow

I rolled my eyes and groaned to the puddle below

When what to my blood shot eyes had appeared

But a mountain of presents that had done what I feared

They crashed to the ground; it happened so quick

So many toys and most did not come from Saint Nick (he was too broke to afford all that)

My feet did not move rapidly as crashing they came

Down on to the floor, there was no one to blame

Now Playskool, Now Fisher Price, Now Little Tikes, Now Disney

On Melissa and Doug, On Crayola, On Lego, and Etsy

Toys stacked to the top of the tree, to the top of the wall

Now reorganize, reorganize to fit them all!

Mommy had to come up with a plan she knew

St. Nick would not be back to help tame this shrew

Then up in my head, an idea, I felt like such a goof

Just restack them nicely it will be full proof

I have skipped a few lines don’t think me not merry

If I don’t get more sleep I will become quite scary

So laying a finger aside of my nose

I blew it and headed back for a doze

Tomorrow will be a good day to deal with this, I thought as I left the sight

Of the fruits of Christmas past so I say to all a good night!