It’s Two Days After Christmas and My Child Has Barely Played with Any of Her New Toys

That’s right, as you might have deciphered from my last post because in my junked up cold medicine head it is so clearly obvious, Emma has only gotten to play with about two or three of her new toys. Most of them are still in a pile. In fact ALL of our Christmas presents are in a pile because mommy has been very sick and completely out of it. I don’t even remember half the stuff we got. Santa was good to Emma, but her Mimi, Nana, Aunts, and Uncles were EVEN BETTER to her. In fact she got so many wonderful new things (and by wonderful new things I really mean space sucking stuff) that we are going to have to create a whole new area for her in the house. I was thinking of rearranging her room because there is a lot of untapped potential in there but we usually spend the majority of our together time in the main living room/ dining room of the house.

I was prepared for this day to come. I thought we might make it a little while longer before we needed it, but it finally has to go….daddy’s precious bar. The one his mother lovingly restored for him. The one that has not moved from its same spot in the house since I moved in (ok it was moved away from the wall for a day so we could paint) but other than that it has been dead space. It usually ends up getting cluttered with all of our junk mail or odds and ends and becomes an eye sore so in a way I am glad it is going. My husband and I never drink any more so there is no use for it in that way either.

Now the only problem I am having is that officially baby stuff will be taking over a portion of our adult living space and I don’t think I like that. True as previously mentioned the bar space was used as a dumping ground for junk mail and other thingamabobs but still they were “adult” thingamabobs gosh darn it and I am not ready to see my thingamabobs go! I guess I feel like I keep losing more and more of my adult self.  I should go back to when it all started … first, the play yard came into the living room after Emma out grew the basinet and I was ok with it because it has wheels and is self-contained which means it is not a permanent fixation if we don’t want it to be. Then, the next item was the bouncer which made an appearance early on and seemed to fit just perfectly in the space between the front door and the chair. It has been there so long it has blended into the living room scenery for me. So now literally the walls have been closing in on me with baby stuff. I remember watching those house selling shows pre-parenthood and thinking “geez people you are soooo disorganized with all of your baby stuff I mean COME ON!” And now I find myself in that group. In fact I believe the title of president has been reserved for me.

Bickering aside we will have to cope at least for a few months until I hopefully wrangle this promotion at work and we can finally move. Until then, I am giving myself a baby challenge.  Clean up old adult beverage space and make it a happy, colorful play space and do it within the next month so these Christmas toys don’t start to collect dust. Also do it with a smile because after all, I am doing it for my daughter.

Think I can meet my one month challenge? I will write on my success or failure. Have you set any goals or challenges for yourself to get “baby” stuff done around the house? 

The Patterson’s Night After Christmas

T’was the night after Christmas and all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, except for an annoyed spouse

The stockings fell off the bar they were taped with little care

Because St. Nicholas had already been there

The baby was screaming unsnug in her bed

While painful teeth were coming through her little head

Mama drinking cough syrup and dad in his Redskins cap

Were hoping to pass out for an after Christmas nap

When out in the dining room there rose such a clatter

We rock paper scissored each other to go see what was the matter

Away to the dining room I shuffled not being rash

Tripped on a dog and heard a splash

I looked down as the dog vomit did grow

I rolled my eyes and groaned to the puddle below

When what to my blood shot eyes had appeared

But a mountain of presents that had done what I feared

They crashed to the ground; it happened so quick

So many toys and most did not come from Saint Nick (he was too broke to afford all that)

My feet did not move rapidly as crashing they came

Down on to the floor, there was no one to blame

Now Playskool, Now Fisher Price, Now Little Tikes, Now Disney

On Melissa and Doug, On Crayola, On Lego, and Etsy

Toys stacked to the top of the tree, to the top of the wall

Now reorganize, reorganize to fit them all!

Mommy had to come up with a plan she knew

St. Nick would not be back to help tame this shrew

Then up in my head, an idea, I felt like such a goof

Just restack them nicely it will be full proof

I have skipped a few lines don’t think me not merry

If I don’t get more sleep I will become quite scary

So laying a finger aside of my nose

I blew it and headed back for a doze

Tomorrow will be a good day to deal with this, I thought as I left the sight

Of the fruits of Christmas past so I say to all a good night!  

The Great Santa Debate

Success! We made it to see Santa without any major catastrophes! Everyone had a great time! We met Nana and Grandpa, Uncle Thomas (not to be confused with daddy Thomas), and Mimi for brunch. Everything went well at brunch and thereafter. Smile after smile, picture after picture everyone was jolly and full of cheer.

We were in a very well decorated location (not a mall but a grand hotel if you can believe it) so grandpa wanted pictures taken at every turn. As dutiful children excited to show off their kid on her first Christmas we happily stopped every few feet to smile and Emma followed suit.

After two hours of a very good baby, we sauntered over to the line to see Santa. At this point, someone was starting to get a little bit cranky. Afternoon naptime had come and gone and mommy started to get worried. By the time we got up to the front of the line, I knew we would need some kind of miracle to get a smile from Emma who was obviously all smiled out.

It all happened in slow motion. Thomas walked up to Santa with Emma as I ducked behind the cameraman. I missed the initial pass off, but by the time I had positioned myself and was able to look back I saw it. A face I know so well because it is the only time my child looks like me, her all out screaming crying face! I was not too upset because I was mentally aware that this was a probability. In that moment everyone stopped and stared at her, the camera guy, the line lady, the 20 other families in line. I could hear everyone give a collective gasp and then time froze and I did what any mommy would do. Like the beginning of a slow clap at the end of a movie, I started clapping really loudly and yelling “YYYYAAAAAAYYYY!!!” at the top of my lungs. All of a sudden everyone in the crowd joined in and we were all cheering for this sweet baby to smile and she did! Ok so maybe the entire Santa line wasn’t cheering but it sure sounded like it. Anyways we got our smile. Followed promptly by a glance upward at Santa’s face only to rediscover there was a scary man in a psychedelic shirt (to be explained later) holding her which lead to another meltdown. Luckily daddy swooped in to save the day!     

To back track, while we were waiting for Santa, everyone in our party made a very profound observation. None and I mean NONE of the kids in line had any holiday attire on, even the babies! One baby boy was in a blue jumpsuit and another baby girl was wearing a pink shirt and jeans. So did I miss the memo? Is it no longer “cool” to dress up your child like they are headed for the North Pole? My husband did make a comment the other day about how the corduroy jumper I put Emma in for picture day was sooooo 80s! Maybe I am behind the times, but this is my kid’s first Christmas, in fact I might only have a few Christmases to put her in a cute little holiday outfit so I am running with it!

Just to be sure, my mommy friend who had taken her son to see Santa the week before at the same place said the same thing. Her son was the only child in Christmas gear. Maybe it is the posh people who go see the hotel Santa that don’t dress up their kids? Maybe people just so happened to be walking by and saw Santa and said hey why not? I thought this was something you meticulously plan out? Maybe only the type A folks.

The other problem that came up was of all things … Santa’s attire. So not only did the kids not have Christmas cheer, but Santa was not in his complete red suit, which sent my ultra traditionalist mother off her rocker. He was wearing a psychedelic blue shirt with multicolored hot air balloons! I was kind of taken back by the whole thing myself. He was “authentic” if you know what I mean, but something to me said Santa might be on hiatus from his North Pole biker buddies.

Which leaves several questions at hand: Are certain traditions going out the window? Do you dress up your children in holiday outfits? Is Santa trying to keep up with the Katy Perry/ Niki Minaj generation? Or did he get lost on his way from a Grateful Dead concert? (see picture below – sorry it is a little burry)

What do you think? Weigh in on the great Santa debate!

The Cupcakes I Made For My Office Holiday Party Fell Down An Elevator Shaft; And Other Holiday Pleasantries

I am really, really trying hard not to show my bah- humbug face but it seems like the Grinch has cast a dark cloud over me and even the magic of Christmas cannot make it go away.  I have been waiting for Tiny Tim to pop out and make everything all shiny and magical but there has been no such Christmas spirit in sight. It has been a difficult holiday season to say the least. I thought I had gone through a few early holiday snafus and I was headed back on track when I got a call from daycare, while I was offsite at one of my two office holiday parties. Emma has a fever. Those four words sent me spiraling back down my happy Christmas chimney so fast and I felt a lump of coal rise up in my throat.  After being sick a week earlier and missing two days of work, Emma was even more sick than before!  To top it off, right before the holiday party I decided to get my flu shot. Yes, great idea! An event that requires you to be lively and social when normally you sit in a cube and stare at a spongy cloth wall, I decide to inject myself with this “harmless” helper that ended up rendering me helpless to any sick childcare much less any holiday party socialization.

Of course I panicked that she had a fever but my previous experience with panicking and running her straight to the ER when she had a fever proved detrimental so my husband offered to get her and take her to the pediatrician. After the coast was clear and I didn’t have to panic (just a bad virus again), I settled into being sick at home with a sick baby. My husband was a great help and we made it through all of the middle of the night coughing fits and snot sucking screams fairly well. In the process however, we missed several more specially planned holiday events. If you recall, we missed out on going to the tree farm and now we missed out on our ugly Christmas sweater party (I had even found a ugly baby sweater  for Emma at the thrift store).

All the merriment I had left in my Christmas plans was going to my other office Christmas Party (the one I planned specifically for my smaller team). I needed it to go well. My husband was good enough to get a half day off on Tuesday, the day of the party, to be with Emma which gave me a few hours out of the house to set up and attend the beginning of the party. Needless to say everything that could go wrong did. The caterers were a half hour late preparing the food (that I called to check on the day before), the room we had reserved in the building had “otherwise been occupied” by another group whose holiday cheer did not include sharing, or even giving a damn that someone else already had the nice party room reserved, so after all of this chaos I could only manage to do what was within my power and grab the decorations and cupcakes I had so loving baked and frosted the night before. Of course being all sweaty and discombobulated from the previously stated atrocities (including having little sleep from being up with a sick baby), I was out of it and shoved everything onto an unstable push cart and raced toward the new party destination (the not so private, overly crowded cafeteria). As I ran to catch the elevator, the wheels on the cart got stuck in the slat at the bottom where the elevator connects with the floor and well ... the cupcakes did not make it. They flew through the air and landed all over the floor coming to a rest in the elevator shaft. So, I ended up literally scrapping the office Christmas party cheer off the floor of an elevator.  At this point I broke down and cried. I ended up not even returning to the party. I left humiliated and upset.

I guess my mommy strength is really being tested because I have yet to have one great holiday experience (excluding craft club quilting). I am trying desperately to have one happy experience for Emma on her first Christmas. In looking back, maybe spending all that time with her while she was sick was all she really wanted for Christmas. It was simple and uninterrupted time that was not a stressful event with massive potential for something to go wrong. There was no pressure to just sit on the floor and play with her. So maybe we both got what we really wanted for Christmas. 

Yes I Am Right On Trend In 2012

So, I’m sure you’ve seen the posts. You’ve read the lists, counted the tallies, and even rolled your eyes a time or two. The list of the most popular baby names for 2012 has come out and guess what…(yes I am sure you already know what but I am going to point out the obvious anyway) since it seems that I am an unoriginal fool, my child’s name is the second most popular girl’s name for 2012.

Have I sent for the name change form? Have I dusted off the old baby name book to see where I went wrong? Am I frantically trying to think of a nick name that is funny, yet appropriate for an academic setting….not exactly. You see I really do like the name Emma. In fact, the rest of the Emma name lovers out there probably like it for the same reasons I do…short, easy to spell, easy to pronounce, sweet yet strong, works for young and old, a Jane Austin nod, I mean really I see little that could ever go wrong with a name like Emma … other than every kid in her class having the same name. I am hopeful at the moment because she is the only Emma at her entire daycare center (ok only 18 kids out of the whole place are infants, but Emma was a popular name last year too.)

In our unoriginal name choosing defense I wanted to name her Leah but my husband was not on board with that. Leah is in the top 100 by not top 10. There were a few other very close number ones such as Riley and Morgan. Even the great goddess Athena was in the running for a brief period of time (meaning aside I am really pleased we did not go with that one.) My name is Kathryn and my husband’s name is Thomas so I think we ere on the side of traditional names. We will never name one of our kids Wind or Rainbow or Bear.

 I was aware that Emma was top 10 in 2011 and knew it would continue to be popular in years to come so I made my choice knowing the consequences she would have to face. I am in no way trying to have history repeat itself, but I know exactly what the road ahead looks like for her because being a Kathryn in the 80s and 90s, I was never short on company in Kathrynland. To this day, I know 4 Katies and 3 Kathryns at least. In school I was corralled into the last name adder club and it was not too much fun (especially since my maiden name is hard to pronounce.) Emma lucked out in the last name department with pronunciation, but our last name is once again pretty commonly found. Lucky for me we chose Riley for her middle name, so if anyone needs her, they can just yell for ERP. 

Adaptation and a Throbbing Wrist: Both Things You Need to be Ready for As a New Parent

News Flash!!!! If you are planning on becoming a parent and you are not good at embracing change, start mentally preparing now! Changes happen so often and come so quickly it is like having to upgrade from Windows XP to Windows 27 and every update in-between in a mere few months. Imagine needing to learn a new operating system every few weeks, maybe even every other week! Well that is baby development (geez am I a nerd or what using a Microsoft analogy – odd because I am more of a mac person but anyway).

I think you get the point. If you are the person who still does not know what Twitter looks like or you have been wearing the same 1990s flannel shirt for years then you might want to open your mind to exploring new things because that is what your baby will be doing. Every object is a new experience and every week holds new untold adventures, everything from different amounts of poop to new body movements. We are talking constant routine changers here. As a younger parent and having grown up in a world with rapidly changing technology you would think I am well equipped to jump right in with fast paced changes. I’m hip, I’m down… yeah ok maybe not. I guess I am losing my touch or my knack for learning quickly because I cannot keep up with this girl!

It all started with the car seat. That’s when my ability to adapt took a wrong turn. I had been up to speed with moving her from the playpen to the crib to sleep. I had been ready with new toys and tethers when she needed extra stimulation and comfort. Then came the car seat. I think up until that point I had been ok with the changes. They didn’t seem so epic and were easy for me to grasp (ok the bed switch was tough the first week.) Now she has gotten to the point where I can barely lift her when she is in the car seat. She has grown too much to be lovingly cradled around from car to house and car to daycare in her safe seat. My main problem with this is that it has gotten cold outside now and I have her wrapped in a blanket in the seat with a fleece jacket on. Taking her out means I have to wrap the blanket around her and try to run to the door with diaper bag, purse, and whatever else in hand. For some reason, my brain cannot let go of the old habit of grabbing her car seat and going. I finally hurt my wrist carrying it, which was the worst because I type for a living (zing). So now I am stuck with a dilemma. An easy fix really, yet for some reason I can’t let go.

Besides the car seat dilemma, she is eating solids now and the pediatrician said to introduce a new food every 3-4 days! Um I don’t think I even know enough foods to introduce a new one every 3-4 days. She has also started to crawl which I am thrilled about! It has come with her trying to pull herself up too. All at the same time! So now, I am thinking we need to jump on the shoe wearing bandwagon. But for crying out loud she is only 6.5 months old! Can’t I just keep her in socks and booties a little bit longer? What if she only eats sweet potatoes for a week straight? Will this put her behind somehow in life? I think part of it all has to do with the fact that I work full time and I don’t get to see her as often as I would like so I try to make up for it by going through the stages at my own mommy processing pace. I can’t seem to bring myself to keep on pace with her. At the same time I don’t want to be the old fuddy duddy mom who is trying to look cool using a jitter bug.

How do I get on the same page developmentally with my child? Anyone else have these problems? 

This Year’s Christmas Family Tradition: Daddy picks out the tree from a store lot

Yes that’s right, the magical journey to the tree farm did not happen. The Christmas Carols on the car ride to the farm, the hot chocolate at the farm, the hour(s?) spent hunting down the perfect tree, the crisp air and smiling faces of other families enjoying the same magical togetherness … did not happen.  Emma was very sick last weekend and the beginning of this week (thus why I have been on hiatus). Her health is priority number one and I did not want to put her in harms way, so I did what any mother who has to stay home with a sick child when they so desperately want to pick out the perfect Christmas tree will do, I looked my husband in the eye and told him to find the tree of all trees. A tree so magnificent that it would make the Grinch cry tears of joy. So magnificent that it makes all the toys in toy land say Whoomp there it is! 

Now I do not consider myself someone that is extremely hard to please. I wouldn’t even say that I am picky, ok maybe just particular. Needless to say I was a little worried about daddy having to venture out on his own to find a tree and not just ANY tree, Emma’s first Christmas tree. The tree she would see in all of the pictures of her first Christmas. The first tree she would see all lit up with lights and sparkles, her first taste of Christmas magic. (I mean come on now people you can’t tell me that doesn’t elevate this to def con 5.) I told my husband to make sure it was full and sturdy. The results were better than I had imagined. The Christmas tree fairy must have been with him because he came home with a tree that looked just as good as if we had cut it down, maybe even better. In fact the more I look at it, the more it looks like the best tree we’ve had since we’ve been together.

So, life got in the way of the “perfect” holiday plan. I’m sure it’s not the last time something I have planned gets put on the back burner for something more important because even though having a great tree is part of the overall Christmas experience I want for my child, it’s really the love, the people that make the holidays. Cheesy yes, but very true, in all of the holiday hullabaloo I can never lose site of the health and happiness of my family. That is all anyone wishes for. 

Do you have any stories of holiday plans gone wrong?

The Things They Don’t Teach You in Baby Class

Here we were, a month before Emma was born, taking a how to prepare for baby class. They went over lots of major things, like how to properly feed the baby, change a diaper, cloth, swaddle, nurture, and other new parent need to knows. BUT as I’m sure you have now discovered, there are many things you cannot prepare yourself for until you find yourself in that situation with a baby. Here are a few gems I will share about what I have learned along the way in hopes to be able to enlighten others.

There will be a time when you get sick AND have to take care of the baby.

I inevitably caught one of Emma’s colds and her daddy had exhausted his leave from work after she had been sick, before, so here I was with an energetic baby who just got over a cold and I was pretty much out of commission. I was able to nap with her in bed and did my best to keep her entertained until daddy got home but needless to say no one ever prepared me for how to take care of a child when you are sick. I was so surprised, the idea had never crossed my mind. No one I had had bothered to mention to me during my 9 months of pregnancy or ever during my life, that when you are a mother there is no sick day. There is no time off for you to rest in bed to get better. That only exists in the land of your pre-baby bliss days.

There will be a time that you are alone with the baby and have to go to the bathroom.

After her four month appointment with the pediatrician, I really had to go to the bathroom and I knew I would not be able to hold it in Friday afternoon rush hour traffic (side note: do NOT schedule a doctor’s appointment on a Friday afternoon if you know rush hour is bad in your area, yeah I wasn’t thinking at the time) so I had her in the car seat, with my purse, and diaper bag flung over my shoulder and marched off to the bathroom in the office building. To my shock and amazement in a medical building, the bathroom DID NOT have a handicap stall and to top it off, all of the stalls were very narrow! Here I am with a car seat and the afore mentioned baggage and I could not fit any of it in the stall with me. I could barely fit my postpardum hips inside the narrow opening. I had no choice but to plop Emma down in front of the stall with the diaper bag, during which time I used the facility hoping no one would walk in on a very discombobulated mom with the stall door open and her child in a car seat on the middle of the bathroom floor. I mean really what bathroom does not have a handicap stall?

You will find yourself in very odd circumstances.

As if the bathroom story is not enough, about a week after that we went to the mall on a Saturday while daddy was at work. When I got out of the car in the parking lot I noticed something under my tire that looked like it splattered. I shrugged it off thinking it had been there for a couple of days, put the baby in her stroller, and proceeded to enjoy our girls only shopping trip. All thoughts of the car left my mind. Upon our return to the car I realized quickly what had happened. I had run over a piece of rotten fruit and a swarm of yellow jackets had engulfed my car. My mommy protection devises went into over drive trying to figure out how to safely get my child in the car among a swarm of rotten fruit loving bees. My first thought was to move the car, but being on my own I could not leave the baby in the stroller in the mall parking lot. I finally calculated a resolution in my head. I unlocked the car from a safe distance and threw a blanket over the car seat (we have a stroller car seat combo) I cradled the car seat as much under my body as I could and sacrificing self for child I ran to the car as soon as I saw a break in the bees. I somehow was able to miraculously secure the seat and retreat without getting stung or having any bees get into the car. I can only imagine what any onlookers seeing me running to the car with a car seat oddly placed under my upper body, while quickly slamming the door must have thought. Probably that I had gone off my mommy rocker. I smile at this thought now, but at the time it was a really stressful situation to say the least. SO if you ever find that you have driven over a piece of rotten fruit and come face to face with a swarm of yellow jackets, there is my recommendation on how to handle the situation.

Do you have any crazy mommy stories while it was only you and the baby? 

I'm back!

I hope everyone's holiday preparations have been going well. I must apologize for my brief hiatus. Emma got very sick. That is a whole other story. I will be posting on our recent adventures soon, but in the mean time, I wanted to share some vintage classics that I was waiting to post until I heard back from the site I submitted them to. It has been two months with no word back from the blog site, so I am going to assume I did not make the cut... this time around. I have not given up yet and even if I never make this into a dream career I still have all of you, my faithful followers, or maybe you are just bored or accidentally kicked on this blog, but you know what... I'll take it!

Read and Enjoy!